my life is all messed up..i knew it was a gone case the moment 2005 started. *shrug* oh well..i'l survive but the road is too tough to think about right now. i've learnt to put myself FIRST..no one else should come before me..and i learnt it all the hard way. i have my regrets..but there's no one else who'll understand right now. 5/7/2005 : my first cigarette in a year. man, that's F*ing long..well..at least it was a Davidoff Light..might be the start of my chain smoking madness again. i can't help it..i know it's bad. anyway, bottomline is, I'M CLOSING THIS BLOG FOR GOOD. thanks to all that have faithfully read and commented..for encouraging me in times of need. still, i think 2005 is a nightmare to blog about. i wn't be deleting this blog cos it contains the happy 2004 i had but i'll probably never blog again. thank you. Peace.